Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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