There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
