Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
