the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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