Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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