8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
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what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
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Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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