i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
