is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize