Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
