rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
