is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
we made out on top of his cat.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
