I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
