ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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