We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
the liver wants what the liver wants
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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