so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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