Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
