I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
