Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
