i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
