One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
