Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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