watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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