My nipple is on Facebook.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
