im having a threesome with these popsicles
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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