I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
