he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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