The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
