It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
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