Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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