i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
