Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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