if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
