hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
