Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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