drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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