There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
