Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
How external is "for external use only"?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
