im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
