Only a mothe r could love this liver
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
