I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
