i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
