And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
