So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I don't deserve a penis
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
