I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
