"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
