Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
