she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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