I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
