Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
operation harelip BJ is a go
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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