so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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