I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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