I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
