Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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