Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize