im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
