Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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