I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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