just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
