addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
