apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
