I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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